Dead Aim

**Confidential**

To: My boss
From: Me

In light of recent events, I think few words of gratitude are in order:

1. Thanks for being available to accept the award for the project I conceived, wrote and produced. It probably wouldn’t have been appropriate for me to do it.

2. I am truly grateful that you were willing to travel all the way to New York to accept the award for the project I conceived, wrote and produced. Not asking if I wanted to go was probably the best thing anyway.

3. You have my deepest appreciation for calling me from the post-awards party in New York to let me know “we” actually won the award for the project I conceived, wrote and produced. I’m not much for events like that, so it’s better you were able to go.

4. Most importantly, I really want to express my thankfulness for something you said. Immediately after letting me know that “we” actually won the award for the project I conceived, wrote and produced, somehow you were able to crap all over the new project I am working on. For the 1.5 seconds I was allowed to enjoy the thrill of winning an award, I owe you my deepest gratitude.