Monday, April 19, 2004

Did I mention I met Mr. T?

It's true.

One day I was in my office, diligently working. I had the door closed, mind you because the area just outside my office gets very loud, being a newsroom for a celebrity rumor-mongering television show.

Let me take a moment and go off on a tangent… I’ll never forget the time the Paris Hilton video first came in. It was like sharks to chum. There was such a buzz of excitement in the air that I had to stick my head out to see what was going on. Everyone was gathered around a production assistant’s desk watching ol’ Paris in all her night vision glory. Granted, this was a legitimate work related activity being celebrity news, but how does this fit in with the corporate sexual harassment policy? Now since I don’t work for this anonymous celebrity gossip show, I wonder… What is the number for human resources again?

Okay, enough sordid tales of me legitimately watching porn at work… As I was saying, I was working diligently in my office… Okay, maybe I wasn’t working diligently. I don’t remember. Maybe I was illegitimately watching porn in my office and that’s why I had the door closed…

Anyway, once again the buzz of excitement piqued my interest. I could hear someone holding court, giving a monologue of sorts, and everyone else laughing. This I had to see. As I opened the door, lo-and-behold, there was one of my childhood idols: Mr. T.

And he was telling stories like nobody’s business. To be honest, I can’t even remember what he was saying, because… HEY, IT WAS MR. T.

Now, we get celebrities in my building every so often and I’ve seen and met a few here and there, but to be honest, I’m not much of a celebrity worshiper. I don’t get too excited and hide behind filing cabinets and pretend I have to go the bathroom, just to walk within 10 feet of Big Celebrity Person so I can say later how they really don’t look that good in person.

But… THIS WAS MR. T. And dammit, I was going to get a picture.

I waited. And I waited. And for some reason, all the cute girls in my office got their picture taken before me. So I waited, and eventually I stood next to him. The person holding the camera said, “smile”, Mr. T growled, and a photo was snapped.

Now before I go on, let me explain something. Mr. T wasn’t wearing his trademark chains and his Mohawk was a bit disheveled. He was sporting what appeared to be workout clothes, sweats and the sort, but they looked to be in pretty bad shape with a few holes and rips. He was also wearing flip-flops with white socks and to top it all off… He kinda smelled.

Now, I can look at this two ways:

1. This was Mr. T, and he had just come from a gym workout to get back into Rocky III shape.

2. This was some homeless guy and the people who work for the celebrity rumor show were playing a bad joke on the guy who always closes his office door.

I prefer option one.

Where is the picture, you might ask? Hmm. That’s a good one. I’ll see if I can dig it up and post it here soon, but in the interest of anonymity, I may have to blur out my face.

You will however, be able to see Mr. T wearing socks with his flip-flops.

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